Stop the Funeral Email Marketing Is Alive — You Are Just Doing It Wrong

Inbox Goldmine: Why Your List Feels Cold and How to Warm It Up

Your email list isn't a graveyard; it's a neighborhood block party where people stopped talking. Low opens and tumbleweed clicks are usually the result of one thing: treating subscribers like an archive instead of a neighbor. Start by imagining each address as a person with a schedule, mood, and taste — then stop blasting one-size-fits-all sermons at midnight.

Warm-up moves that actually work are simple and scalable. Try a short re-intro, a "did you miss this?" highlight, or a tiny value-first message that asks for input, not a sale. Pair those with quick hygiene: remove bounces, confirm active consent, and stop emailing people who never open — because deliverability is a team sport.

• 🆓 Re-Introduce: Send a value-packed, non-sales note that reminds them who you are and why you matter.
• 🚀 Segment: Split by behavior (opens, clicks, purchases) so content actually matches intent.
• 💥 Cleanse: Pause long-term lurkers, test a winback, then delete or suppress the truly inactive.

Finish with rapid experiments: 3 subject-line tests, two send-time tweaks, and one micro-survey. Measure opens, clicks, and revenue per recipient, celebrate a 10% lift, then scale. Warm lists aren't magic — they're the result of curiosity, respect, and consistently useful emails.

From Meh to Must Open: Subject Lines That Spark Curiosity

Subject lines are tiny promises: keep them intriguing and the inbox will reward you. The trick is not mystery for its own sake but curiosity with a clear payoff. Tease a benefit, hint at an unexpected detail, and give readers an easy reason to click without feeling tricked.

Start with verbs that move, numbers that add credibility, and the recipient name when it fits. Use open loops that beg completion but avoid vague clickbait. Trim words to boost scannability, drop heavy punctuation, and always A/B test two versions before declaring a winner.

• 🚀 Tease: Three surprises about your workflow — number two removes a daily pain
• 🔥 Benefit: Save 20 minutes today with this one checkbox
• 🆓 Personal: Alex, a free tweak for your setup

Pick one template, write five variants, and send them to a small segment to learn fast. Curious subject lines do the heavy lifting; the email body can then delight. Repeat, measure, and ruthlessly keep what works.

Automations That Sell While You Sleep Without Being Creepy

Think of automation as a polite shop assistant who remembers faces, not a stalker with a CRM. When you build flows with actual people in mind — context, timing, and intent — they sell without squashing trust. The trick is to automate empathy: send useful nudges, not relentless nagging, and let your sequences earn a click by being relevant and helpful.

Start small and sensible: tag behavior, not just demographics, and trigger based on actions — opened an email, clicked a link, abandoned cart. Use dynamic sections so content feels tailored, and add human copy: first name plus a one-line detail they care about. Practical rule: every automated message should pass the “would I send this to a friend?” test.

Workflows that actually convert are obvious and simple: a 3-step lead magnet path that delivers value, then nudges toward a trial; a 48-hour cart reminder with social proof and a clear CTA; a post-purchase onboarding series that reduces returns and sets the stage for a cross-sell. Keep sequences short and goal oriented.

Tone and frequency matter more than fancy tech. Be conversational, transparent about why you are emailing, and limit promotional touches to a manageable rhythm — think two to three promotion attempts per week maximum for engaged segments. Always make it easy for recipients to control preferences; respect builds long term revenue.

Measure what matters: lift in conversion per flow, not just open rates. A/B test subject lines, timing, and the placement of CTAs. Prune inactive subscribers and run a repermission campaign before you cleanse. Set up automations that act like helpful neighbors: show up with value, leave room for privacy, and sell while you sleep without feeling creepy.

Design for Thumbs: Mobile First Emails People Actually Read

Stop treating inboxes like desktop bulletin boards. When someone scrolls your email with a thumb they want clear hierarchy, large tap targets and zero squinting. Start with a single-column canvas, generous padding, and a hero that answers what is in it for me within the first screen. Design at phone widths first so everything feels intentional, not cramped.

Use fonts that read at arm length: 15–17px body with 1.4 line height, and 22–28px headlines. Make buttons at least 44–48px tall with 12–16px horizontal padding so thumbs land safely. Keep text out of images, favor live text for accessibility and dark mode resilience, and use high contrast so CTAs jump out without extra thought.

Think vertical gestures and thumb reach zones. Avoid tiny inline links, deep nested menus or cramped social icons; opt for full-width or wide centered buttons and plenty of breathing room between touch targets. Place one clear primary action above the fold and echo a secondary link later for skimmers so both types of readers can convert without extra effort.

Test on real devices and platforms: iOS Mail, Gmail app, Android native mail, and a few popular clients used by your audience. A B testing of CTA copy and placement often beats a prettier template. Measure clicks and conversions by device, iterate quickly, and remember: mobile first is not a trend, it is how people actually interact. Design for thumbs and emails will stop dying.

Metrics That Matter: Stop Chasing Opens and Start Building Revenue

Applause for opens is cheap theater; receipts are the real encore. If an email made thousands of people glance and then vanish, that is a warm feeling, not a business result. Shift the spotlight from vanity metrics to measurements that map directly to cash flow, and watch decisions get sharper and campaigns get leaner.

Start with one clear money metric per campaign: attributable revenue. That means connecting sends to orders with UTMs, unique coupon codes, and order IDs. Pair that with conversion rate from click to purchase, and average order value for context. Those three numbers reveal whether a win was fleeting curiosity or a repeatable revenue lever.

Make tracking simple and repeatable. Add a campaign parameter to every link, log conversions to the same campaign tag, and calculate revenue per recipient (total revenue / total recipients). Run the same math after segmentation so you can compare lists, subject lines, or timing. Small experiments measured against real dollars beat big ideas measured against open-rate myths.

• 🚀 Revenue: Attribute sales to campaigns using UTMs and coupon codes so every send has a dollar figure.
• 💥 Conversion: Track click-to-purchase and micro-conversions so you know where people get stuck.
• 👥 Retention: Measure cohort LTV and repeat purchase rate to value long term impact over one-off spikes.

Pick one campaign this week, instrument the links, and judge it by revenue per recipient. When the KPI is money, the inbox becomes a growth channel, not a museum of impressions. Celebrate the wins that pay the bills and prune the noise.